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  • Brianna Paruolo

How to know you have found the right therapist for you.

Updated: May 22

Finding the right therapist in NYC can be an overwhelming process. It's easy to feel lost and unsure of where to start in a city with so many options. However, taking the time to find the right therapist can make a huge difference in your mental health journey. Here are some tips to help you know when you’ve found the right therapist for you.

You feel comfortable with them

One of the most important aspects of therapy is feeling comfortable with your therapist. You should feel like you can be yourself around them and that they are someone you can trust. A good therapist will create a safe space where you feel supported and validated. It may be time to find someone else if you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist. When I work with clients, I always ask them to reflect on whether they are sacrificing their comfort level for the sake of another. Every therapist won't be right for you- and that's okay! A good therapist will listen to your concerns and offer referrals for a better fit.

They listen to you

A good therapist should be a good listener. They should be attentive and engaged during your sessions, and they should be able to remember important details about your life. They should also be able to understand your perspective and offer empathy and understanding.

They challenge you

While it’s important to feel supported by your therapist, it’s also important to feel challenged. A good therapist will help you identify patterns in your thinking and behavior that may be holding you back. They will push you to explore new perspectives and try new behaviors.

They have expertise in the areas you need help with

When looking for a therapist, it’s important to find someone who has expertise in the areas you need help with. For example, if you’re struggling with anxiety, you may want to look for a therapist who specializes in anxiety treatment. If you’re struggling with relationship issues, you may want to find a therapist who specializes in couples therapy. This information is usually found on the therapist’s website or psychology today profile.

They have a treatment approach that resonates with you

Different therapists use different treatment approaches, and it’s important to find a therapist whose approach resonates with you. Some therapists use cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on changing negative thought patterns. Others use psychodynamic therapy, which focuses on exploring unconscious emotions and past experiences. There are many other approaches, so it’s important to find one that feels right for you. After our sessions, I often ask my clients for feedback and tailor the experience to what they’re looking for.

They are accessible and accommodating

Finally, it’s important to find a therapist who is accessible and accommodating. This may include things like offering early morning or late evening sessions. I always stress my willingness to be flexible, as I once was in the position when I had a demanding corporate job where I would run to my car to squeeze in my therapy during a lunch break. Life happens, and I understand.

Finding the right therapist in NYC may take some time and effort, but it’s well worth it. When you find the right therapist, you’ll feel supported, challenged, and empowered to make positive changes in your life. By looking for a therapist who makes you feel comfortable, listens to you, challenges you, has expertise in your areas of need, uses a treatment approach that resonates with you, and is accessible and accommodating, you’ll be on your way to finding the right therapist for you.

About the Author

Brianna Paruolo is a provisionally licensed mindfulness therapist in NYC who works with models, athletes, influencers, students, and young professionals in New York City. Together they work to overcome burnout and negative self-talk so her clients can thrive academically, athletically, professionally, and in their relationships. Send her an email at to connect today!

Legal Notice: The content presented in this blog post/Instagram post is for educational purposes only and is not intended to provide mental health treatment. It is crucial to consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice or treatment regarding your specific circumstances. Reading or engaging with this content does not establish a client-counselor relationship, and the author is not liable for any actions taken based on the information provided. It is recommended to seek up-to-date information and consult professionals for the latest advancements in mental health research and practice. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact your local emergency services or helpline immediately.

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