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  • Brianna Paruolo

A Mindful Approach to Dating Apps

Updated: May 22

With spring just around the corner, you might have started to reconsider dipping your toe in the dating pool again. Whether you're fresh out of that COVID-situationship, have been enjoying the single life for some time, or are ready to find "the one," there is no denying that dating in 2023 doesn't come with its own set of complexities. There is also no escaping the dreaded download of one of the many infamous dating apps (Raya, Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Feeld- you get my point). So how does one become a believer that these apps can be fun and, dare I say it, actually work?!

Here's where a mindful approach to dating apps comes into play.

1. Clarify your intentions: Before you start using dating apps, take some time to clarify your intentions. Are you looking for a serious relationship, a casual hookup, or just someone to chat with? Being clear about what you want can help you use the app more effectively and avoid getting into situations that don't align with your goals.

2. Set boundaries: It's important to set boundaries for yourself when using dating apps. For example, you might decide not to respond to messages after a certain time of day or limit the amount of time you spend on the app each day. By setting boundaries, you can prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed or addicted to the app.

3. Practice self-care: Using dating apps can be stressful, so it's important to practice self-care while using them. Take breaks when you need to, engage in activities that bring you joy, and don't neglect other areas of your life.

4. Be mindful of your thoughts and emotions: When using dating apps, it's easy to get caught up in your thoughts and emotions. Try to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, and be aware of how they affect your behavior. If you notice you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, take a break and return to the app when you're feeling more centered.

5. Stay true to yourself: It's important to stay true to yourself when using dating apps. Don't pretend to be someone you're not in order to impress someone else. Be honest about your interests, values, and goals, and look for people who share those same qualities.

6. Take your time: Finally, take your time when using dating apps. Don't rush into anything, and don't feel pressured to respond to messages immediately. Take the time to get to know someone before deciding whether to meet in person and be patient in your search for a meaningful connection.

About the Author

Brianna Paruolo is a provisionally licensed mindfulness therapist in NYC who works with models, athletes, influencers, students, and young professionals in New York City. Together they work to overcome burnout and negative self-talk so her clients can thrive academically, athletically, professionally, and in their relationships. Send her an email at to connect today!

Legal Notice: The content presented in this blog post/Instagram post is for educational purposes only and is not intended to provide mental health treatment. It is crucial to consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice or treatment regarding your specific circumstances. Reading or engaging with this content does not establish a client-counselor relationship, and the author is not liable for any actions taken based on the information provided. It is recommended to seek up-to-date information and consult professionals for the latest advancements in mental health research and practice. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact your local emergency services or helpline immediately.

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